Trust

Creative Non-Fiction by Kaitlin Pearson
Second Place for College Creative Non-Fiction-- 2016 Met Awards



Silently she sat, watching as the land rolled by beyond the windows of the bus. The headphones in her ears blasted an eclectic choice of music – one moment country artists, the next rap or heavy metal, always bouncing between genres, no two similar songs in a row. Her foot twitched and bounced, picking up speed and intensity as the bus got nearer to its destination. Long before she arrived, her leg was tired and sore. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes, threatening to spill over. As the bus finally pulled into the station, she gathered her belongings, stuffing her headphones into her purse as she readied herself to disembark. As she glanced out the window, she felt the breath leave her body.

He was sitting on the bench, calmly writing in his notebook, seemingly unaware of the arrival of the bus. She took a deep breath, forcing back the hot wetness that began to spill across her cheeks. She swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand as people pushed by her to get out of the hot, stale air inside the bus. She forced her breathing to even out as she stepped into the aisle, straightening her skirt as she prepared to step off. She vowed to herself that she would remain calm, cool, and collected, trying her best not to let him see exactly how deeply their time apart was affecting her. She took the first step with grace and composure… Not that it lasted. The moment the path between them cleared, a small squeal leapt from her throat and she launched herself headlong across the short distance.

She threw herself against him, tears in her eyes for the umpteenth time that day, emotion tightening her throat. She flung her arms around his neck, stifling a sob. Instead, she managed to choke out a single word – “Mine.” – as she buried her face against his neck. He gave a warm chuckle as he wrapped her in a hug, enveloping her in his warm embrace with a one-word, muttered response – “Hi.”

“Mine…” she murmured again, softer this time. Her purse slid from her shoulder, dropping to the bench beside him. He left one arm wrapped around her as he used the other to move the notebook from his lap to set beside her purse on the bench.

“I love you,” she choked.

“I love you, too.”

“I missed you so much…” This almost a whine.

“I know… I’m sorry. I missed you, too.”

She sighed contentedly, then buried her teeth in his shoulder. He inhaled sharply, but otherwise didn’t flinch. He knew better. Pulling away would only cause more pain and make it unpleasant. Besides, if he was being honest with himself, he had missed this expression of her love, too. He let her hold on for a moment longer before speaking again.

“Enough,” he said sternly. Then, softly, “Let go now, pet.”

She hesitated a moment, not quite ready to let go, but then obeyed the order with a quiet whimper. She straightened up, and he graced her with a smile. It was so genuine! It made her heart leap and race in her chest, once more causing her breath to lodge behind the emotion in her constricted throat. Had she been born with a tail, it would have wagged madly.

She took a step back to give him space to stand. He did, pulling her once more into a strong embrace. She nuzzled against his chest. She had never known what it was like to trust so fully, so completely in a partner; she reveled in it with every chance she could. She loved the way he always made her feel so safe, so warm, so cared for, but still knew how to play his role to perfection. She would want for nothing more in her life than his desire for her.

She gave a contented sigh. He smiled and kissed the top of her head – it was these little moments, when she did things she was entirely unaware of, that meant the most to him. For it was in these moments that she let her guard down and really became herself, allowing him to see who she really was – the sweet, loving woman behind all the trauma and fear, the one very few people were allowed to see. He knew she was far from perfect – she came to him with baggage dragging behind her. But to him, she was perfection, and he hoped to help alleviate some of the weight that her baggage dragged. For so long as he loved her, he would never let such things affect her again. He was determined to be her protector, her Master. He vowed to do whatever it took to earn that trust from her.

For now, they had all they needed in each other. They would worry about the future at a later time, when it became necessary. But for today, being together, just having each other, was enough.