Monday, September 15, 2014

On a Final Note

Short Story by Alex Tellez
2014 Met Awards - 1st Place for High School Fiction

In my youth, they told me this day would come. They explained the details clearly to my broken, desolate mother. The memories seem too vivid at this point in my life. "Ms. Wittman, I'm going to lay down our diagnosis to you, but I have to trust that you will control yourself enough to listen to what I am about to say: Frederick has developed a rare form of thyroid illness known as hypothyroidism." He explained the details of the disease, expecting my mom to care about what he was saying, when, honestly, my mother felt her entire world closed in on her: "Basically, Frederick's thyroid glands are producing more hormones than what's normal,” he indicated to the scanner diagrams of my upper-body, “which increases his heart rate, makes his skin sensitive to the sun, and ... This is the news I wish I didn't have to tell yo- Ms. Wittman ..." My mom just couldn't take it at this moment. It just wasn't what she needed to hear. "Now, it's fortunate that you have insurance that will work with you on this, but, as part of the disease, Frederick is to take a daily dosage of pills everyday." This now struck me because I could already foresee the outcome of not taking the dosage ... "it's vital for the health of your son that he takes them. This disease isn't curable. A pill a day is the only thing that can treat the disease. I'm incredibly sorry."

The years flew by ever since, and I kept reminding myself this day would come. I had no idea my condition would put so many limits as to what I could do with my life. Explaining my condition was a drag because all I would get is unhelpful sympathy - which, don't get me wrong, was necessary sometimes, but it got me distracted from more important issues. Eventually, the hypothyroidism took full effect towards the end of my teenage years, and I realized how weak I was becoming. One evening, in particular, I stepped outside to the snow-casted city I had called my "home" for eighteen years. Next thing I knew, I was awake in the warmth of a hospital bed.

*  *  *

Weeks have flown by, and I keep reminding myself this day would eventually come. They tell me that I would not leave until the pneumonia had gone away, and it still hasn't. Everyday I’m in here, I feel the misery of receiving pointless treatments at the expense of my mom's paycheck. Right now, at the peak of midnight, I’m sneaking out of my bed and I’m getting out of the hospital, feeling weaker than ever. My senses have no goal but to tell my mind just how unbearable the ice-weather is.

So, here I am, lying down on the snow, and I'm doing nothing but smiling. Freddie, the guy who smiles. God, you probably think I'm insane. But, to be honest, I'm smiling because I know I'm going to be happy wherever I go next. I feel myself giving up. I can feel the pain going away. With whatever strength I have, I pull out a letter I had written with a pen I stole from the nurse's desk and a clipboard I stole from the doctor's.

For most of my adolescence, I had thought about what would be on that note, since everyday was a reminder that this day would come. I thanked everyone I knew. My mom. My doctors. The friend I once made in woodshop. I pulled him out of my pocket and marveled at his beautiful texture for the last time, realizing that it was the only accomplishment that my condition hadn't affected, especially in years. I played with him one final time. And that made me smile. I smiled because I was with a friend, even if he wasn't real. He existed. The letter was long, long, long. But it was me, and that's all I wanted it to be.

And on that final note, I smiled.

No comments: