Fiction by Krista Kenny of Cerro Coso Community College
2014 Met Awards - Honorable Mention for College Fiction
“I’m healed,” she says. She sits in front of me smiling a smile I have never before seen on her lips. This is the first time I’ve seen my mom in a week. The plan had been for her to stay in rehab for much longer, but after several unexplainable days of neither pain nor withdrawal symptoms, the doctors had no reason to keep her. When she had told me on the phone that she wasn’t in pain anymore, I cried. I have been praying for this day since I was old enough to understand the concept, but I had never imagined that such a surreal event would have such a mundane setting: sitting in our house—in a chair I had sat in before on so many dull days—hearing that everything had changed. It didn’t seem real. But sitting in front of her today, in the same chair, it is impossibly real. I can hardly get a word in edgewise with all her stories of rehab: the friends she made, the food she ate, the bafflement of the doctors when she never entered withdrawal for the Oxycontin, and then stopped feeling the pain of the fibromyalgia altogether. She’s catching up really, for all the words that through the years the pain had wrested from her mind and strangled in her throat. My mom likes to talk, I realize for the first time in my nineteen years with her. My mom likes to laugh. Her laugh sounds alien to my ears though, which have so often heard her cry. Her smile is foreign to my eyes, which have become so used to her grimace. The sense of dissimilarity is overpowering. She starts to talk about all of the things we can do together now that she’s healed, all of the things she has to make up for as a mother. Her pretty words fall on me like half-unwanted caresses. My memories persist in dragging me back to all the other words I’ve heard from her, words so often filled with the venom of her pain, and all the hate and anger that had no other convenient target. I don’t blame her for those words. I’d long since gotten in the habit of ignoring the pain when it decided to speak through her. But this mother—the one that isn’t fighting the pain for words—she doesn’t seem like mine. Her arms, so strong and sure when she embraced me, aren’t the wary, trembling arms that have gingerly hugged me so many times before. The manner of her every minute gesture is strange to me without the weight of the pain dragging at her limbs. The adult in me is happy of course and reminds me over and over that this is my real mother; all the years before this were the façade. But there is a child in me screaming, screaming that the smiling, laughing person in front of me is an imposter, a mimic come to live the life my mom had wanted. Her strange laughter seems a mockery of all the years my mother had lived with the pain. It had become no more bearable but all the more familiar. In being given the thing I had begged God for my entire life, I feel somehow robbed of my mommy. But I cannot let it show. My feelings would hurt her, and I have been too thoroughly conditioned to never do anything that would hurt her. So I talk with her, and laugh with her, and put on a smile that I have never before worn on my lips. My mind tells me that God is present in this, but my heart tells me that he—and my mother—are further from me.
Showing posts with label 2014-met-awards. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2014-met-awards. Show all posts
Monday, November 24, 2014
Monday, November 17, 2014
Montmartre, Paris
Poem by Janace Tashjian of Cerro Coso Community College
2014 Met Awards - Honorable Mention for College Poetry
She wept
and weeds grew around her feet
the black cat leapt
Words inept
granite cloak to hold her seat
she wept
Hooded eyes as shadows crept
across each stone, hide ... retreat
the black cat leapt
Endless mourning; below he slept
above, scorching freezing sleet
She wept
Barren bracken o'er the crypt
ravens swoop and caw conceit
the black cat leapt
Eternal. Wind swept
oh beauty! The bell tolls "Silence"!
she wept
the black cat leapt
2014 Met Awards - Honorable Mention for College Poetry
She wept
and weeds grew around her feet
the black cat leapt
Words inept
granite cloak to hold her seat
she wept
Hooded eyes as shadows crept
across each stone, hide ... retreat
the black cat leapt
Endless mourning; below he slept
above, scorching freezing sleet
She wept
Barren bracken o'er the crypt
ravens swoop and caw conceit
the black cat leapt
Eternal. Wind swept
oh beauty! The bell tolls "Silence"!
she wept
the black cat leapt
Monday, November 10, 2014
An Irrelevant Edge
Fiction by Aubrey Elliott of Cerro Coso Community College
2014 Met Awards - Honorable Mention for College Fiction
“I wasted the best years of my life with you,” she said bitterly as the conversation escalated into a fight.
“You gave me the best years of my life,” he replied with an underlying meaning he knew she would mistake.
“You’ve held me back from the life I wanted to live,” she said missing his point.
“All I’ve ever done was try to better your life anyway I could.” True as it was, he knew it left no impact.
“Everything you say is a lie,” she said, perfectly aware of the nerve she would hit.
“What will make you happy?” He asked feeling obligated to do so.
“He makes me happy,” with that she unleashed the true cause of their withering marriage. It struck him speechless even though he had known it for a while. He didn’t need to know a name or any details once she confirmed his suspicions.
For their son’s sake, he would have tolerated the treachery, but he knew she wouldn’t be gratified by merely a new escort. She wanted the freedom to indulge in the vices he tried to save her from.
He was mournful that his marriage would have to end in such an unscrupulous way. Her selfish lust was an affliction on him and he resented her for it; but he held back form retaliation. He wasn’t ashamed by what his wife’s inconsiderate actions would reflect on himself; rather he knew her actions would leave a more devastating impact on others at stake. So when he was asked why his marriage was ending, he would say “I wasn’t making her happy,” to distract from, but not lie about, the real reason.
He kept her guilty actions out of the picture and let her take half of everything he worked for in the divorce. But in the custody battle for their son, against his conscience, he exposed her dependency on entangling types of escape. He tried not to stain her image as much as he could, even though she had already done so to herself. He tried to make the court hearings and the arguments that followed them as painless as possible. She made his attempts at being passive difficult; not seeing his motives for being so distant, and would spark an argument, after every hearing, spitting painful retorts at him, while he held his breath. And after the final verdict, she privately lashed out at him for what she perceived as delusive nobility.
“You should have just exposed my affair; half of your hard work isn’t worth your smug stance. It’s just like you to try and keep your higher ground.”
He tried to refrain from giving the impression of pretention but there was no better way to express the honesty of his motives, “I didn’t do it for me,” he told her.
Scornfully she argued, “I don’t need you to spare me.”
He took his son from her arms. And as she kissed her son goodbye, he told her “I didn’t do it for you either.” And he walked away without holding his breath anymore.
2014 Met Awards - Honorable Mention for College Fiction
“I wasted the best years of my life with you,” she said bitterly as the conversation escalated into a fight.
“You gave me the best years of my life,” he replied with an underlying meaning he knew she would mistake.
“You’ve held me back from the life I wanted to live,” she said missing his point.
“All I’ve ever done was try to better your life anyway I could.” True as it was, he knew it left no impact.
“Everything you say is a lie,” she said, perfectly aware of the nerve she would hit.
“What will make you happy?” He asked feeling obligated to do so.
“He makes me happy,” with that she unleashed the true cause of their withering marriage. It struck him speechless even though he had known it for a while. He didn’t need to know a name or any details once she confirmed his suspicions.
For their son’s sake, he would have tolerated the treachery, but he knew she wouldn’t be gratified by merely a new escort. She wanted the freedom to indulge in the vices he tried to save her from.
He was mournful that his marriage would have to end in such an unscrupulous way. Her selfish lust was an affliction on him and he resented her for it; but he held back form retaliation. He wasn’t ashamed by what his wife’s inconsiderate actions would reflect on himself; rather he knew her actions would leave a more devastating impact on others at stake. So when he was asked why his marriage was ending, he would say “I wasn’t making her happy,” to distract from, but not lie about, the real reason.
He kept her guilty actions out of the picture and let her take half of everything he worked for in the divorce. But in the custody battle for their son, against his conscience, he exposed her dependency on entangling types of escape. He tried not to stain her image as much as he could, even though she had already done so to herself. He tried to make the court hearings and the arguments that followed them as painless as possible. She made his attempts at being passive difficult; not seeing his motives for being so distant, and would spark an argument, after every hearing, spitting painful retorts at him, while he held his breath. And after the final verdict, she privately lashed out at him for what she perceived as delusive nobility.
“You should have just exposed my affair; half of your hard work isn’t worth your smug stance. It’s just like you to try and keep your higher ground.”
He tried to refrain from giving the impression of pretention but there was no better way to express the honesty of his motives, “I didn’t do it for me,” he told her.
Scornfully she argued, “I don’t need you to spare me.”
He took his son from her arms. And as she kissed her son goodbye, he told her “I didn’t do it for you either.” And he walked away without holding his breath anymore.
Monday, November 03, 2014
Snow Walk
Poem by Katy Harvey of Cerro Coso Community College
2014 Met Awards - Honorable Mention for College Poetry
2014 Met Awards - Honorable Mention for College Poetry
spring snow in Tahoe
pitching pinecones, gentle wind.
diggin' earth this day.
pitching pinecones, gentle wind.
diggin' earth this day.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Society of Last Hope
Short Story by Shari Allison of Cerro Coso Community College
2014 Met Awards - Honorable Mention for College Fiction
This group sits in a circle. I hate circles; maybe it is because it’s the unhealthy mix of a childhood game combined with the intrusive familiarity of needy adults. Whatever the reason, the blend equals a cake made with tablespoons of salt and baking soda instead of teaspoons. Truly cringe worthy. Still, I take a seat because all my other options are gone.
A lot of people say that you earn a seat here, I feel more like I paid for mine. Based on the looks of the chair, I’d say I got ripped off. There is a slit in the plastic surface right in the center of the bottom cushion. The indentations tell me that all the butts before me didn’t appear to mind sitting on a chair whose stuffing had long ago escaped. Where ever that stuffing is, I’m sure it is in a better place than I am. Regardless, I take a seat. Instantly I’m reminded that the cushion is on vacation.
To distract myself from the others who are starting to gather I look at my hands. They are dry and cracked, I really should take better care of them. The hangnails are discouraging, but the real worry about my hands is that they are shaking. It is a movement I’ve become accustom to, and have learned to work around. I have coffee. It’s not in one of those Styrofoam cups built to withstand heat and unintentionally designed to outlive the human race. My trembling fingers would quickly distribute that cup’s contents onto myself, the floor, and any neighboring party who happened to walk by. No. There is no way I am going to embarrass myself by that potential. I brought decaffeinated coffee from home in a Bubba cup. A great big purple and stainless steel container with a spill resistant lid. They didn’t specifically advertise the canister for my particular ailment, but it works.
From the corner of my eye I can see the donated yard-sale type chair to my right has now become occupied. The intrusion begins. It is no longer me sitting in a circle of miss-matched chairs. People are moving toward the circle, it makes me think of the salty cake and I visibly cringe. I can feel the body heat of strangers pressing in on me. There is a rush of movement, smells, noise, all pushing in against my isolated musings. They move with purpose, and a desire to translate their time spent here as accomplishing an objective. My goal is more closely related to survival.
The neighbor to my right says something. A cloud of stench wafts by me. Bourbon, I think. It’s hard to say, my olfactory capacity is breached. The smell of coffee, old furniture, and perfumed bodies has drowned-out my identifying facilities. It doesn’t really matter anyway. A few drinks before coming here seems saner than coming stone-cold sober. Sadly I’ve missed the open window of opportunity to dilute my mental acuity to an oblivious state. I get to take it all in, including everything I don’t want.
“Okay everyone, it is time to get started. Please come in and take a seat.” Instructs a female voice.
I continue to stare at my hands. I’m not here to make friends.
“Now, you are all here for the same reason. You are probably thinking to yourself, that the last thing you want to do is make friends, but I will warn you—it is the people in this room who will help you to reach your goal.” I’m beginning to hate our mindreading leader already.
“We will take a break in thirty minutes. I will sign report cards at the break after you submit for the blood test. We test for drugs, alcohol, tobacco and alike. No blood test, no signature.”
There is mumbling in the room and several people including the guy to my right, get up and leave. Club rules state no alcohol. I abided.
“Okay,” starts up our leader after the brief interval, “now that those who are serious are left, we can begin tonight’s meeting of the Broken Hearts Club.”
I want to leave. To escape from this joke of coercive assembly. The problem is they hold my life in their hands, and my survival depends on any whim they set.
“You are here because your lifestyle puts you at risk. Doctors don’t like to give hearts to people who don’t take care of them.” I can feel her eyes sizing up the group. “This program will keep you on the donor list. If you stop attendance for any reason other than hospitalization, you lose your priority status.”
Determination forces me to adjust my butt in the cushion-less chair for the long haul.
2014 Met Awards - Honorable Mention for College Fiction
This group sits in a circle. I hate circles; maybe it is because it’s the unhealthy mix of a childhood game combined with the intrusive familiarity of needy adults. Whatever the reason, the blend equals a cake made with tablespoons of salt and baking soda instead of teaspoons. Truly cringe worthy. Still, I take a seat because all my other options are gone.
A lot of people say that you earn a seat here, I feel more like I paid for mine. Based on the looks of the chair, I’d say I got ripped off. There is a slit in the plastic surface right in the center of the bottom cushion. The indentations tell me that all the butts before me didn’t appear to mind sitting on a chair whose stuffing had long ago escaped. Where ever that stuffing is, I’m sure it is in a better place than I am. Regardless, I take a seat. Instantly I’m reminded that the cushion is on vacation.
To distract myself from the others who are starting to gather I look at my hands. They are dry and cracked, I really should take better care of them. The hangnails are discouraging, but the real worry about my hands is that they are shaking. It is a movement I’ve become accustom to, and have learned to work around. I have coffee. It’s not in one of those Styrofoam cups built to withstand heat and unintentionally designed to outlive the human race. My trembling fingers would quickly distribute that cup’s contents onto myself, the floor, and any neighboring party who happened to walk by. No. There is no way I am going to embarrass myself by that potential. I brought decaffeinated coffee from home in a Bubba cup. A great big purple and stainless steel container with a spill resistant lid. They didn’t specifically advertise the canister for my particular ailment, but it works.
From the corner of my eye I can see the donated yard-sale type chair to my right has now become occupied. The intrusion begins. It is no longer me sitting in a circle of miss-matched chairs. People are moving toward the circle, it makes me think of the salty cake and I visibly cringe. I can feel the body heat of strangers pressing in on me. There is a rush of movement, smells, noise, all pushing in against my isolated musings. They move with purpose, and a desire to translate their time spent here as accomplishing an objective. My goal is more closely related to survival.
The neighbor to my right says something. A cloud of stench wafts by me. Bourbon, I think. It’s hard to say, my olfactory capacity is breached. The smell of coffee, old furniture, and perfumed bodies has drowned-out my identifying facilities. It doesn’t really matter anyway. A few drinks before coming here seems saner than coming stone-cold sober. Sadly I’ve missed the open window of opportunity to dilute my mental acuity to an oblivious state. I get to take it all in, including everything I don’t want.
“Okay everyone, it is time to get started. Please come in and take a seat.” Instructs a female voice.
I continue to stare at my hands. I’m not here to make friends.
“Now, you are all here for the same reason. You are probably thinking to yourself, that the last thing you want to do is make friends, but I will warn you—it is the people in this room who will help you to reach your goal.” I’m beginning to hate our mindreading leader already.
“We will take a break in thirty minutes. I will sign report cards at the break after you submit for the blood test. We test for drugs, alcohol, tobacco and alike. No blood test, no signature.”
There is mumbling in the room and several people including the guy to my right, get up and leave. Club rules state no alcohol. I abided.
“Okay,” starts up our leader after the brief interval, “now that those who are serious are left, we can begin tonight’s meeting of the Broken Hearts Club.”
I want to leave. To escape from this joke of coercive assembly. The problem is they hold my life in their hands, and my survival depends on any whim they set.
“You are here because your lifestyle puts you at risk. Doctors don’t like to give hearts to people who don’t take care of them.” I can feel her eyes sizing up the group. “This program will keep you on the donor list. If you stop attendance for any reason other than hospitalization, you lose your priority status.”
Determination forces me to adjust my butt in the cushion-less chair for the long haul.
Monday, October 20, 2014
Circa 2003
Short Story by John Schneider of Cerro Coso Community College
2014 Met Awards - Honorable Mention
A supermarket parking lot
In Newbury Park was my office
I sat saturated with
Careless ennui in the morning sunlight
That warmed my car's interior
Looking at letters to send, counting my change
When I saw them
Two unselfconscious lovers
Cuddling nuzzling
Head to head, head to neck
Face to chest
Oblivious to many nearby
Walking or sitting or driving or existing
On foot or in clever
Wheeled or fixed boxes
Careless of the couples
Public, unashamed amour
A tree branch spanning high
Over market's wall
Was their lovers' perch
On swaying twig-tip they stood close
Two crows engaged in airy foreplay
Ignorant of us ignorant to them
In their bliss
2014 Met Awards - Honorable Mention
A supermarket parking lot
In Newbury Park was my office
I sat saturated with
Careless ennui in the morning sunlight
That warmed my car's interior
Looking at letters to send, counting my change
When I saw them
Two unselfconscious lovers
Cuddling nuzzling
Head to head, head to neck
Face to chest
Oblivious to many nearby
Walking or sitting or driving or existing
On foot or in clever
Wheeled or fixed boxes
Careless of the couples
Public, unashamed amour
A tree branch spanning high
Over market's wall
Was their lovers' perch
On swaying twig-tip they stood close
Two crows engaged in airy foreplay
Ignorant of us ignorant to them
In their bliss
Monday, October 13, 2014
The Rosary
Short Story by Amanda Taylor of Cerro Coso Community College
2014 Met Awards - 2nd Place for College Fiction
I think about death every day. I don’t know if that makes me terribly normal or just plain morbid. I guess neither of those reasons are anything to be proud of, so what’s the use in deciding? I don't care about what happens to me after I die-I’ll have to face it myself and find out for sure. What concerns me is the deadline. I wonder if I'll get snuffed out like a candle before I'm able to get married or see my children grow up. Will my good works add up in the end or will my wrong turns define my life? My great-grandfather died last October and his loss has barely begun to sink in. I knew him from his 70s on and although I knew he would eventually die, part of me felt he was an exception. He was the only father I’d known for most of my life and was a constant source of fascination. He had lost all his teeth in World War II and never wore a set of dentures for the rest of his life. I remember staring at him in disbelief when watching him crunch on tortilla chips or tear into a prime rib with nothing but his bare gums. I remember how he would kneel by his bed and pray for hours a day with his glow in the dark rosary and his prayer books, stained greasy brown by his crooked, wrinkled fingers. I thought that rosary was the greatest. Even though anything glow in the dark is a marvel when you’re eight-years-old, my grandpa’s rosary made me believe in God, the saints and maybe even Santa Claus. My grandpa was the one who took me to church as a child I remember how much I wish I could say my prayers with that rosary that lit up like my Jurassic Park poster at night. The first time I walked into his room after he died, I spotted the long forgotten rosary strewn across his night stand. I grabbed it in my hand and felt the beads shift between my fingers. I could feel the grit, deposited by years of feverish whispers and kisses, that was forever trapped between the joints between the beads. What used to be a coveted treasure suddenly lost all its former glory. It felt so utterly cheap because at that moment what I wanted more than anything was my grandpa, the person who drove me to school and played cards with me, to be alive. Instead, all I have is this odd relic of a life I will never fully understand. At that moment, I felt the full weight of his loss that I didn’t feel when I kissed his cheek as he drew his last breaths. I felt the full weight of that shame because at the moment he left this world, I was more concerned with my own life than his death. When I'm dead, will anyone hold my most prized possession and realize that I was the treasure worth keeping?
2014 Met Awards - 2nd Place for College Fiction
I think about death every day. I don’t know if that makes me terribly normal or just plain morbid. I guess neither of those reasons are anything to be proud of, so what’s the use in deciding? I don't care about what happens to me after I die-I’ll have to face it myself and find out for sure. What concerns me is the deadline. I wonder if I'll get snuffed out like a candle before I'm able to get married or see my children grow up. Will my good works add up in the end or will my wrong turns define my life? My great-grandfather died last October and his loss has barely begun to sink in. I knew him from his 70s on and although I knew he would eventually die, part of me felt he was an exception. He was the only father I’d known for most of my life and was a constant source of fascination. He had lost all his teeth in World War II and never wore a set of dentures for the rest of his life. I remember staring at him in disbelief when watching him crunch on tortilla chips or tear into a prime rib with nothing but his bare gums. I remember how he would kneel by his bed and pray for hours a day with his glow in the dark rosary and his prayer books, stained greasy brown by his crooked, wrinkled fingers. I thought that rosary was the greatest. Even though anything glow in the dark is a marvel when you’re eight-years-old, my grandpa’s rosary made me believe in God, the saints and maybe even Santa Claus. My grandpa was the one who took me to church as a child I remember how much I wish I could say my prayers with that rosary that lit up like my Jurassic Park poster at night. The first time I walked into his room after he died, I spotted the long forgotten rosary strewn across his night stand. I grabbed it in my hand and felt the beads shift between my fingers. I could feel the grit, deposited by years of feverish whispers and kisses, that was forever trapped between the joints between the beads. What used to be a coveted treasure suddenly lost all its former glory. It felt so utterly cheap because at that moment what I wanted more than anything was my grandpa, the person who drove me to school and played cards with me, to be alive. Instead, all I have is this odd relic of a life I will never fully understand. At that moment, I felt the full weight of his loss that I didn’t feel when I kissed his cheek as he drew his last breaths. I felt the full weight of that shame because at the moment he left this world, I was more concerned with my own life than his death. When I'm dead, will anyone hold my most prized possession and realize that I was the treasure worth keeping?
Monday, October 06, 2014
The 20th Year
Poem by Korinza Shlanta of Cerro Coso Community College
2014 Met Awards - 2nd Place for College Poetry
How my soul is filled with trepidation,
And my path seems covered by growth
Or perhaps it's the dilapidation
Or even just the loss of my own oath.
How I swore to be better and achieve
My dreams in quick strides, but my pace is slow.
In my twentieth year I shall not grieve.
I have time ahead, so little in tow.
A decade ahead, a decade behind,
Fewer seasons seem to pass before me.
Yet, I learn to shape my body and mind
From my thoughts into actions you can see.
I will clear my own path with my own thought.
A path for me I follow not for naught.
Monday, September 29, 2014
To the Artist
Poem by Emma Heflin
2014 Met Awards - 2nd Place for High School Poetry
To the artist Who himself is a work of art.
Your paintings of war and earth and misery
Are nothing compared to what I see.
Because war and earth and misery
Are sad, sometimes beautiful, too.
Anyone can see how that is true.
But nobody sees you the way I do.
My artist
Who himself is a work of art.
2014 Met Awards - 2nd Place for High School Poetry
To the artist Who himself is a work of art.
Your paintings of war and earth and misery
Are nothing compared to what I see.
Because war and earth and misery
Are sad, sometimes beautiful, too.
Anyone can see how that is true.
But nobody sees you the way I do.
My artist
Who himself is a work of art.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Three Lies
Short Story by Korinza Shlanta of Cerro Coso Community College
2014 Met Awards - 1st Place for College Fiction
People are told three lies about dying. The first is that everyone dies alone. I watched my friend Sam take his own life, watched his hands drop to his sides, and I even felt his last breath leave his body. I waited around for a long while to see if his soul was going to just jump out of that now motionless corpse and fly away into the great beyond we are always told about, but it never happened. I wasn't the only one expecting his soul to jump out and fly away, either. However, science seems to work even when all else fails. The moment his body ceased functioning the microbes that lived in his systems started their work of decomposition. Like what happened to Mozart after he died. It reminds me how Sam always liked the music jokes I told him.
I have known Sam for as long as I can remember. Bit of a quiet kid growing up, but so was I. I think that is what made us such compatible friends. Sometimes we would banter back and forth, make jokes, create code languages, but people only ever really looked at us with suspicious glances, like we were up to no good. We never did much harm, at least I never did anyway, Sam was the one to act out our plans while I just watched and reaped the benefits of it coming about. Sam always seemed to be a step ahead., but good thing I thought further than he could run. He had his troubles, but who doesn't? He never could run away from those. I like to think I was the creative one in that relationship though. It was me who came up with the idea to sneak into the mortuary to put a squirting flower on the tux of our mutual friend Allen. Boy, was he a smart one. Allen always had a story to get us out of trouble. He was so good with words. He always could make me feel like everything was the greatest story. I will never forget the look on his mothers face though when she leaned in to kiss his eyes. Then again, there is plenty of time to still forget.
Our adolescent years were more tumultuous. We were men, but no one else seemed to think so. We had reached puberty and took upon ourselves the responsibilities that are taken in response to freedom. The only hindrance we encountered was the lack of freedom. So in the coming of age, we agreed together that we needed to find a greater meaning to life than that of which we knew. So we told our parents that we needed to expand our horizons and shed the down of our wings to take to the skies. And that is precisely what we did. We went into the army as paratroopers. Young men always seem to overestimate their courage. Our boots landed on the soft German soil. We hid clustered together behind a church in the graveyard, too full of cowardice to move. It must have been the training that kicked in, but it took all of us to stop the man from running and telling anyone where we were. He seemed to be deep in thought, but it looked like he saw us. We could not take such a risk. We were men of action.
Sam was a good, thoughtful fellow though. He never missed the chance to pick up a good book, work in the garden, or stroll through the park in the late afternoon. He often tried to immerse himself in art, music, and the teachings of great thinkers, but he could never really find an escape from his troubles. He never could outrun them, or himself, he couldn't find a sanctuary from the evil that plagued his mind. Yet, he thought death would be the final solution. He must have thought it was going to bring him peace or perhaps meet God. I never did admired his silly boyish ways. They were never thinking far enough ahead.
The great thinkers have proposed a plethora of theories about death and what happens to the soul when a person dies. Often the theories are told to us just to bring us comfort. “Like my favorite, you will get to see your loved ones again and rest in peace.” “Or my favorite, may he rest in pieces. Or my favorite, to be written in among the greatest story ever.” “Or my favorite, death is the next step to those willing to look down.” Sam was a good guy, but he was always trying to outrun his demons. He even tried running away from our relationship. He stopped laughing and joking with me, telling me his stories, or telling me what he was thinking. It is a terrible thing he felt we needed to be on such poor terms, but we have plenty of time to catch up later.
The second lie about dying is that your troubles leave you once you die. All of us are still here though. We are just waiting on Sam, and he should be here soon. See, that's something that they forget to tell you. The first thing to go is hearing, then sight, feeling, and then finally the “spirit” will go on its way. However, that's only after the microbes finish their job cleaning up. You didn't think that the spirit would be allowed to be so rude as to leave right after leaving such a mess did you? At least Sam doesn't have to be alone the whole time. Ah, good fellow, even we will be polite and introduce ourselves when he gets here. Oh before I forget, that brings me to the last untruth.
The third lie about death is that you were ever alone to begin with.
2014 Met Awards - 1st Place for College Fiction
People are told three lies about dying. The first is that everyone dies alone. I watched my friend Sam take his own life, watched his hands drop to his sides, and I even felt his last breath leave his body. I waited around for a long while to see if his soul was going to just jump out of that now motionless corpse and fly away into the great beyond we are always told about, but it never happened. I wasn't the only one expecting his soul to jump out and fly away, either. However, science seems to work even when all else fails. The moment his body ceased functioning the microbes that lived in his systems started their work of decomposition. Like what happened to Mozart after he died. It reminds me how Sam always liked the music jokes I told him.
I have known Sam for as long as I can remember. Bit of a quiet kid growing up, but so was I. I think that is what made us such compatible friends. Sometimes we would banter back and forth, make jokes, create code languages, but people only ever really looked at us with suspicious glances, like we were up to no good. We never did much harm, at least I never did anyway, Sam was the one to act out our plans while I just watched and reaped the benefits of it coming about. Sam always seemed to be a step ahead., but good thing I thought further than he could run. He had his troubles, but who doesn't? He never could run away from those. I like to think I was the creative one in that relationship though. It was me who came up with the idea to sneak into the mortuary to put a squirting flower on the tux of our mutual friend Allen. Boy, was he a smart one. Allen always had a story to get us out of trouble. He was so good with words. He always could make me feel like everything was the greatest story. I will never forget the look on his mothers face though when she leaned in to kiss his eyes. Then again, there is plenty of time to still forget.
Our adolescent years were more tumultuous. We were men, but no one else seemed to think so. We had reached puberty and took upon ourselves the responsibilities that are taken in response to freedom. The only hindrance we encountered was the lack of freedom. So in the coming of age, we agreed together that we needed to find a greater meaning to life than that of which we knew. So we told our parents that we needed to expand our horizons and shed the down of our wings to take to the skies. And that is precisely what we did. We went into the army as paratroopers. Young men always seem to overestimate their courage. Our boots landed on the soft German soil. We hid clustered together behind a church in the graveyard, too full of cowardice to move. It must have been the training that kicked in, but it took all of us to stop the man from running and telling anyone where we were. He seemed to be deep in thought, but it looked like he saw us. We could not take such a risk. We were men of action.
Sam was a good, thoughtful fellow though. He never missed the chance to pick up a good book, work in the garden, or stroll through the park in the late afternoon. He often tried to immerse himself in art, music, and the teachings of great thinkers, but he could never really find an escape from his troubles. He never could outrun them, or himself, he couldn't find a sanctuary from the evil that plagued his mind. Yet, he thought death would be the final solution. He must have thought it was going to bring him peace or perhaps meet God. I never did admired his silly boyish ways. They were never thinking far enough ahead.
The great thinkers have proposed a plethora of theories about death and what happens to the soul when a person dies. Often the theories are told to us just to bring us comfort. “Like my favorite, you will get to see your loved ones again and rest in peace.” “Or my favorite, may he rest in pieces. Or my favorite, to be written in among the greatest story ever.” “Or my favorite, death is the next step to those willing to look down.” Sam was a good guy, but he was always trying to outrun his demons. He even tried running away from our relationship. He stopped laughing and joking with me, telling me his stories, or telling me what he was thinking. It is a terrible thing he felt we needed to be on such poor terms, but we have plenty of time to catch up later.
The second lie about dying is that your troubles leave you once you die. All of us are still here though. We are just waiting on Sam, and he should be here soon. See, that's something that they forget to tell you. The first thing to go is hearing, then sight, feeling, and then finally the “spirit” will go on its way. However, that's only after the microbes finish their job cleaning up. You didn't think that the spirit would be allowed to be so rude as to leave right after leaving such a mess did you? At least Sam doesn't have to be alone the whole time. Ah, good fellow, even we will be polite and introduce ourselves when he gets here. Oh before I forget, that brings me to the last untruth.
The third lie about death is that you were ever alone to begin with.
Monday, September 15, 2014
On a Final Note
Short Story by Alex Tellez
2014 Met Awards - 1st Place for High School Fiction
In my youth, they told me this day would come. They explained the details clearly to my broken, desolate mother. The memories seem too vivid at this point in my life. "Ms. Wittman, I'm going to lay down our diagnosis to you, but I have to trust that you will control yourself enough to listen to what I am about to say: Frederick has developed a rare form of thyroid illness known as hypothyroidism." He explained the details of the disease, expecting my mom to care about what he was saying, when, honestly, my mother felt her entire world closed in on her: "Basically, Frederick's thyroid glands are producing more hormones than what's normal,” he indicated to the scanner diagrams of my upper-body, “which increases his heart rate, makes his skin sensitive to the sun, and ... This is the news I wish I didn't have to tell yo- Ms. Wittman ..." My mom just couldn't take it at this moment. It just wasn't what she needed to hear. "Now, it's fortunate that you have insurance that will work with you on this, but, as part of the disease, Frederick is to take a daily dosage of pills everyday." This now struck me because I could already foresee the outcome of not taking the dosage ... "it's vital for the health of your son that he takes them. This disease isn't curable. A pill a day is the only thing that can treat the disease. I'm incredibly sorry."
The years flew by ever since, and I kept reminding myself this day would come. I had no idea my condition would put so many limits as to what I could do with my life. Explaining my condition was a drag because all I would get is unhelpful sympathy - which, don't get me wrong, was necessary sometimes, but it got me distracted from more important issues. Eventually, the hypothyroidism took full effect towards the end of my teenage years, and I realized how weak I was becoming. One evening, in particular, I stepped outside to the snow-casted city I had called my "home" for eighteen years. Next thing I knew, I was awake in the warmth of a hospital bed.
* * *
Weeks have flown by, and I keep reminding myself this day would eventually come. They tell me that I would not leave until the pneumonia had gone away, and it still hasn't. Everyday I’m in here, I feel the misery of receiving pointless treatments at the expense of my mom's paycheck. Right now, at the peak of midnight, I’m sneaking out of my bed and I’m getting out of the hospital, feeling weaker than ever. My senses have no goal but to tell my mind just how unbearable the ice-weather is.
So, here I am, lying down on the snow, and I'm doing nothing but smiling. Freddie, the guy who smiles. God, you probably think I'm insane. But, to be honest, I'm smiling because I know I'm going to be happy wherever I go next. I feel myself giving up. I can feel the pain going away. With whatever strength I have, I pull out a letter I had written with a pen I stole from the nurse's desk and a clipboard I stole from the doctor's.
For most of my adolescence, I had thought about what would be on that note, since everyday was a reminder that this day would come. I thanked everyone I knew. My mom. My doctors. The friend I once made in woodshop. I pulled him out of my pocket and marveled at his beautiful texture for the last time, realizing that it was the only accomplishment that my condition hadn't affected, especially in years. I played with him one final time. And that made me smile. I smiled because I was with a friend, even if he wasn't real. He existed. The letter was long, long, long. But it was me, and that's all I wanted it to be.
And on that final note, I smiled.
2014 Met Awards - 1st Place for High School Fiction
In my youth, they told me this day would come. They explained the details clearly to my broken, desolate mother. The memories seem too vivid at this point in my life. "Ms. Wittman, I'm going to lay down our diagnosis to you, but I have to trust that you will control yourself enough to listen to what I am about to say: Frederick has developed a rare form of thyroid illness known as hypothyroidism." He explained the details of the disease, expecting my mom to care about what he was saying, when, honestly, my mother felt her entire world closed in on her: "Basically, Frederick's thyroid glands are producing more hormones than what's normal,” he indicated to the scanner diagrams of my upper-body, “which increases his heart rate, makes his skin sensitive to the sun, and ... This is the news I wish I didn't have to tell yo- Ms. Wittman ..." My mom just couldn't take it at this moment. It just wasn't what she needed to hear. "Now, it's fortunate that you have insurance that will work with you on this, but, as part of the disease, Frederick is to take a daily dosage of pills everyday." This now struck me because I could already foresee the outcome of not taking the dosage ... "it's vital for the health of your son that he takes them. This disease isn't curable. A pill a day is the only thing that can treat the disease. I'm incredibly sorry."
The years flew by ever since, and I kept reminding myself this day would come. I had no idea my condition would put so many limits as to what I could do with my life. Explaining my condition was a drag because all I would get is unhelpful sympathy - which, don't get me wrong, was necessary sometimes, but it got me distracted from more important issues. Eventually, the hypothyroidism took full effect towards the end of my teenage years, and I realized how weak I was becoming. One evening, in particular, I stepped outside to the snow-casted city I had called my "home" for eighteen years. Next thing I knew, I was awake in the warmth of a hospital bed.
* * *
Weeks have flown by, and I keep reminding myself this day would eventually come. They tell me that I would not leave until the pneumonia had gone away, and it still hasn't. Everyday I’m in here, I feel the misery of receiving pointless treatments at the expense of my mom's paycheck. Right now, at the peak of midnight, I’m sneaking out of my bed and I’m getting out of the hospital, feeling weaker than ever. My senses have no goal but to tell my mind just how unbearable the ice-weather is.
So, here I am, lying down on the snow, and I'm doing nothing but smiling. Freddie, the guy who smiles. God, you probably think I'm insane. But, to be honest, I'm smiling because I know I'm going to be happy wherever I go next. I feel myself giving up. I can feel the pain going away. With whatever strength I have, I pull out a letter I had written with a pen I stole from the nurse's desk and a clipboard I stole from the doctor's.
For most of my adolescence, I had thought about what would be on that note, since everyday was a reminder that this day would come. I thanked everyone I knew. My mom. My doctors. The friend I once made in woodshop. I pulled him out of my pocket and marveled at his beautiful texture for the last time, realizing that it was the only accomplishment that my condition hadn't affected, especially in years. I played with him one final time. And that made me smile. I smiled because I was with a friend, even if he wasn't real. He existed. The letter was long, long, long. But it was me, and that's all I wanted it to be.
And on that final note, I smiled.
Monday, September 08, 2014
Monday, September 01, 2014
Words
Poem by Skylar Muse
2014 Met Awards - 1st Place for High School Poetry
Do you hear the whispers all around?
The ones at night that are keeping you awake
Where so little truth is found.
The rumors and lies that surround,
Make you feel pain and heartache
Do you hear the whispers all around?
Day after day of enduring this life that makes you feel drowned,
You wonder if it's worth it to continue to fake,
Where so little truth is found.
The pain piles into mound after mound,
Causing your sanity to tremble and shake.
Do you hear the whispers all around?
You know of no other way to break through the sound,
Maybe the shot of the gun will thoroughly break
Where so little truth is found.
A warning to those who spread these rumors around:
Before you say anything, think about these people, and from them what you will take
Do you hear the whispers all around?
Where so little truth is found?
2014 Met Awards - 1st Place for High School Poetry
Do you hear the whispers all around?
The ones at night that are keeping you awake
Where so little truth is found.
The rumors and lies that surround,
Make you feel pain and heartache
Do you hear the whispers all around?
Day after day of enduring this life that makes you feel drowned,
You wonder if it's worth it to continue to fake,
Where so little truth is found.
The pain piles into mound after mound,
Causing your sanity to tremble and shake.
Do you hear the whispers all around?
You know of no other way to break through the sound,
Maybe the shot of the gun will thoroughly break
Where so little truth is found.
A warning to those who spread these rumors around:
Before you say anything, think about these people, and from them what you will take
Do you hear the whispers all around?
Where so little truth is found?
Contributor's Note: This is a villanelle I wrote in response to the tragedy of bullying and spreading rumors I see in my everyday life. I wanted to show the bullies the negative consequences of their harmful language and what it does to a person emotionally and mentally.
Monday, April 14, 2014
2014 Met Awards Ceremony and Reading
Date
Friday, 25 April
Time
4-6 p.m.
Location
Student Art Gallery of Cerro Coso IWV, Ridgecrest
Details
Family and friends, come join us for this award celebration and reading in honor of this year's fiction and poetry award recipients.
The ceremony will be held in Cerro Coso's beautiful art gallery. All 1st and 2nd Place writers and poets will be the featured readers of the event. Refreshments will be served.
All award recipients, including honorable mentions, will receive an award certificate at the event. First and second place authors will receive a $50 or $25 gift card.
Watch for 1st and 2nd place pieces in the Fall 2014 edition of Metamorphoses Online.
Friday, 25 April
Time
4-6 p.m.
Location
Student Art Gallery of Cerro Coso IWV, Ridgecrest
Details
Family and friends, come join us for this award celebration and reading in honor of this year's fiction and poetry award recipients.
The ceremony will be held in Cerro Coso's beautiful art gallery. All 1st and 2nd Place writers and poets will be the featured readers of the event. Refreshments will be served.
All award recipients, including honorable mentions, will receive an award certificate at the event. First and second place authors will receive a $50 or $25 gift card.
Watch for 1st and 2nd place pieces in the Fall 2014 edition of Metamorphoses Online.
Monday, April 07, 2014
2014 Met Awards Poetry Winners Announced!
High School
FIRST PLACE
Skylar Muse for "Words"
SECOND PLACE
Emma Heflin for "To the Artist"
HONORABLE MENTION
John Hicks for "Puppy Love"College
FIRST PLACE
Alas Tarin for "Logic"
SECOND PLACE
Korinza Shlanta for "The 20th Year"
HONORABLE MENTIONS
John Schneider for "Circa 2003"Stay Tuned!
Katy Harvey for "Snow Walk"
Janace Tashjian for "Montmartre, Paris"
All winners and honorable mentions will be invited to read their work at the awards ceremony Friday, April 25 at the Cerro Coso IWV Campus in Ridgecrest. Friends and family are encouraged to attend this celebratory event.
Awards Ceremony and Reading: Friday, 25 April 2014 in Ridgecrest
Publication: Fall 2014
Winners will receive more information regarding the ceremony soon.
Friday, April 04, 2014
2014 Met Awards Fiction Winners Announced!
High School
FIRST PLACE
Alex Tellez for "On a Final Note"
HONORABLE MENTION
Abigail Clayson for "The Knight and the Dragon"College
FIRST PLACE
Korinza Shlanta for "Three Lies"
SECOND PLACE
Amanda Taylor for "The Rosary"
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Shari Allison for "Society of Last Hope"Stay Tuned!
Aubrey Elliott for "An Irrelevant Edge"
Krista Kenny for "Healed"
Poetry winners will be announced in the next few days.
All winners and honorable mentions will be invited to read their work at the awards ceremony Friday, April 25 at the Cerro Coso IWV Campus in Ridgecrest. Friends and family are encouraged to attend this celebratory event.
Awards Ceremony and Reading: Friday, 25 April 2014 in Ridgecrest
Publication: Fall 2014
Winners will receive more information regarding the ceremony soon.
Friday, January 17, 2014
2014 Met Awards - Call for Flash Fiction and Poetry
Metamorphoses, in cooperation with the English Department and the Student Government of Cerro Coso, is hosting the 2014 Met Awards for Creative Writing. The editors are calling for poetry and flash fiction—very short short stories sometimes called short shorts, of between 500 and 1,000 words—written by Cerro Coso and local high school students.
First and second place writers will receive a $50 or $25 gift card and publication in the Fall edition of Metamorphoses Online. Runners-up may also be considered for publication.
Eligibility
Participants must be current students of Cerro Coso or one of the many high schools in the college's service area (Mammoth, Bishop, Ridgecrest, California City, Edwards Air Force Base, and Kern River Valley areas).
Length
Fiction must be between 500-1,000 words.
Poems must be under 50 lines.
More about Flash Fiction
Flash fiction is an economical form of story-telling: in a small amount of space, the writer of a short short exhibits the essentials of good fiction: character, plot, setting, language that surprises, and a significant ending which points to a meaning beyond any surprise or twist the author offers.
The best flash fiction implies significant meaning beneath the surface of its plot and shimmers with emotional resonance.
For an interesting article on the composition of short shorts, see Flash Fiction Editor-in-Chief Suzanne Vincent’s article, “Managing Story Length.” "Economy," Vincent says, is the most important quality of a successful short short:
Bob Dylan said, “a poem is a naked person.” Poetry reveals the layers beneath our everyday experiences. What is a personal experience moves beyond the self to create a shared experience and reveal a common knowledge that unites us.
Poetry uses language in surprising ways and isn’t afraid to be. Poetry shows.
Following is a list of poems; as you read each one, notice the use of metaphor and imagery; what is revealed as each poem progresses?
Thank you to the Student Government of Cerro Coso for providing funding for the following prizes:
Us the submission page to submission page to enter your work. At the beginning of your contributor's note, mention the word "Awards." If you are a high school student, also be sure to include the name and location of your school.
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| Well-Used Pencil - Photo by Gary Enns |
Eligibility
Participants must be current students of Cerro Coso or one of the many high schools in the college's service area (Mammoth, Bishop, Ridgecrest, California City, Edwards Air Force Base, and Kern River Valley areas).
Length
Fiction must be between 500-1,000 words.
Poems must be under 50 lines.
More about Flash Fiction
Flash fiction is an economical form of story-telling: in a small amount of space, the writer of a short short exhibits the essentials of good fiction: character, plot, setting, language that surprises, and a significant ending which points to a meaning beyond any surprise or twist the author offers.
The best flash fiction implies significant meaning beneath the surface of its plot and shimmers with emotional resonance.
For an interesting article on the composition of short shorts, see Flash Fiction Editor-in-Chief Suzanne Vincent’s article, “Managing Story Length.” "Economy," Vincent says, is the most important quality of a successful short short:
An economical writer (the most enjoyable type of writer to read) doesn't waste words, doesn't repeat what's already been said, chooses the "less is more" path to revealing information to the reader. (Vincent)Following is a list of sample short shorts from the Flash Fiction and SmokeLong Quarterly online publications. In each, notice the economical use of language, the surprising detail, the characterization through action, dialog, and description, and the enduring sense of significance. As you read each short short, ask yourself, Why is this story worth telling?
"Fork" by Glen PourciauMore about Poetry
"Stalling" by Andrew Roe
"The Runner" by Curtis Smith
"Kolkata Sea" by Indrapramit Das
"Vacation" by Peter DeMarco
"When the Cicadas Come" by Tara Laskowski
Bob Dylan said, “a poem is a naked person.” Poetry reveals the layers beneath our everyday experiences. What is a personal experience moves beyond the self to create a shared experience and reveal a common knowledge that unites us.
Poetry uses language in surprising ways and isn’t afraid to be. Poetry shows.
Following is a list of poems; as you read each one, notice the use of metaphor and imagery; what is revealed as each poem progresses?
“The Gift” by Li-Young LeePrizes
“Her Kind” by Anne Sexton
“The Death of the Ball Turret Gunner” by Randall Jarell
Thank you to the Student Government of Cerro Coso for providing funding for the following prizes:
High School Fiction
First prize 50$ and online publication in Met
Second prize 25$ and online publication in Met
High School Poetry
First Prize 50$ and online publication in Met
Second prize 25$ and online publication in Met
College FictionTimeline
First prize 50$ and online publication in Met
Second prize 25$ and online publication in Met
College Poetry
First Prize 50$ and online publication in Met
Second prize 25$ and online publication in Met
Submission Deadline: 28 March 2014How to Submit
Awards Announced: 4 April 2014
Awards Ceremony and Reading: Friday, 25 April 2014 in Ridgecrest
Publication: Fall 2014
Us the submission page to submission page to enter your work. At the beginning of your contributor's note, mention the word "Awards." If you are a high school student, also be sure to include the name and location of your school.
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